Monday, July 2, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #1

"In one and the same fires, clay grows and wax melts.”  -Francis Bacon

“I found that every single successful person I’ve ever spoken to had a turning point and the turning point was where they made a clear, specific, unequivocal decision that they were not going to live like this anymore.  Some people make that decision at 15, and some people make it at 50 and most never make it at all.”  -Brian Tracy 

“When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.”  -Evelyn Waugh 


Statement #1, “I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.”

I now take charge of my life and my well-being.  I accept the responsibility.


      Recalling those first few weeks of sobriety and New Life, the struggle was so raw, all too real and quietly intense.  Unknown to the rest of the world, a fight was underway and uncertainty filled the senses, but something else was present too; an air of accomplishment.  Waking up sober felt thrilling; gone were the hangovers and fears of what I might have done the night before.  This was different.
      The WFS New Life program kicks off with Statement #1.  In our Program booklet, our founder Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes, “I have a life- threatening problem, but it no longer has me.  It no longer controls me.  I am the master of my actions, and I am the master of myself.”  Reading these words for the first time, Jean’s strength and determination leapt off the page, encouraging and inspiring me to continue.
      There is a moment in time when a decision can become a turning point.  In Jean’s book Turnabout she writes, “The decision to quit must spring from the despair or anger or disgust with self which must be accompanied by a deep and sincere desire to change, to remake life in a new mold.  The decision must come from the realization and acceptance that your present way of living is futile and that a new way must be found.  It is extremely important to know that you are not hopeless and that, with help, you can put this blight out of your life.”  Women for Sobriety is a beacon of hope for women everywhere.  If you are struggling, help can be found here:

Hi 4C Women, 

My turning point was hearing Jean speak at the YWCA over 30 years ago.  I had just been promoted to Director of the Women’s Center Dept. and heard about Jean and her empowering recovery program.  Part of the YW’s mission statement is the empowerment of women and girls.  I thought this was a perfect match and I so wanted to help other women.  As I drove her back to the hotel after her speaking engagement, I asked her if she thought I had a problem.  I can still her words echo in my ear - If you have to ask, you do!  I already knew that, yet was hoping she would be part of my denial plan.  She was way too smart to engage in my foolish denial scheme.  I wanted to be in charge of my life and the first step was to stop drinking.  My goal was to become a group moderator and I am grateful to this very day that I accomplished that goal and continue to moderate meetings.  What WFS has taught me is that it is not about stopping the addiction, but changing my negative thoughts, my self-loathing, and hopelessness to becoming the capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman I needed to be in order to be in charge of my well-being.

There is a lot of discussion about core issues that need to be identified if we are to move forward in being empowered.  Recovery is a time to uncover those core issues that kept us stuck in the past and that they are not our identity today or possibly ever!  For me this is the place I started at to understand why I chose to believe only the negative input and discard any positive part of me.  It fed my low self-esteem as though I was at a banquet.  I had the choice to change that, to learn to love myself. 

·        What are the old messages you are still carrying with you today and why do you think that is? 

Once you have uncovered your core issues, take the time to define or redefine your values, your purpose, your joy, your vision as a 4C woman.  Set boundaries and create a plan that leads you into new possibilities.  Sounds so exciting.  Are you ready and willing to do that? 

Finally, how would you define what your New Life means to you?  I often think of the words freedom, availability, choices.  As you work on taking charge of your well-being, add more words to your list.  Keep it handy and let it be the banquet that feeds your New Life. 
Bonded in accepting responsibility,
4C WFS member
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