Monday, June 25, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #13




“I say if I’m beautiful.  I say if I’m strong.  You will not determine my story; I will.”  -Amy Schumer

“I am in charge.  I take my own power back.”  -Louise Hay

“A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman.”  -Melinda Gates 

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Statement #13, “I am responsible for myself and for my actions.”
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
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      Sobriety and Statement #13 in action set the path for the continuation of New Life.  Jean Kirkpatrick created the WFS New Life Program to be woven as a fabric into the lives of the women who practice it.  With this practice, a shift in thinking can occur.  In our Program booklet on page 34, “Often our thoughts are formed by past experiences, actions, and attitudes inherited from family and society.  By understanding our thoughts, we can accept responsibility for our actions.  We recognize we have options and choices.”
      There is a distinct freedom that comes from recognizing options and choices.  Early on in my own journey, this was difficult to see since the focus was simply on staying sober.  Yet with the practice of the WFS Statements, especially Statement #13, a revolution of thoughts occurred and the illusion of powerlessness shifted into choice and options.  Feelings of inability were released and with each decision, the long-held fears about responsibility vanished.
      It seemed as if a whole new world opened up.  Feelings of empowerment began to flow in, slowly at first then as if by magic, this new sense of self actually felt the words: Capable, Competent, Caring and Compassionate.  This concept felt sturdy, and thoughts of responsibility were no longer fearful.  Embracing confidence, self-esteem and self-worth create the cornerstones of an empowering New Life. 

Hugzzz
Karen
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Hi 4C Women, 

Whenever I am faced with a decision and I feel inadequate, indecisive or fearful, I say this statement out loud and it truly makes a difference.  This statement stops the negative thoughts right in their tracks.  I am an empowered woman and to me that means that while I may struggle with a decision or choice, I know it is mine to make and even if I choose incorrectly, so what!  I will survive; I will seek support from my 4C sisters and I will learn. 

I saw this article online by Brad McDonald of Sandler Training on taking charge of life, one decision at a time.  These are his ideas: 

·        Increase in self-esteem.  Whether you are right or wrong, you’ll feel better just by taking ownership in a decision.
·        Development of decision tree mentality.  You learn that decision-making is a process, not a single event.  You make a decision, evaluate, and then make the next decision.
·        Breaking of paralysis and inhibitions.  Procrastination results in no changes, status quo, and paralysis.  Making decisions leads to action and moves you forward.
·        You own yourself.  When you make a decision, you own more of yourself; you are taking charge of your life.  Also, you will learn that there are few bad decisions. 

Let’s analyze decision making and discuss the process of making the best and most effective decisions.  Here are some things to consider: 

§  Understand the BIG PICTURE.  Be very clear about what it is you want to accomplish in the long run, but don’t go at it with tunnel vision.
§  Set goals and recognize the need to risk.  If you have written goals, you are part of your own plan.  Otherwise, you are part of somebody else’s plan – your choice.
§  Develop a Plan; Evaluate the Risks; Let it sink in.  If you set goals and take some risk, you will experience some fear.  Own the fears but don’t cave in to them.  Rather, ask yourself if the risk is acceptable using the worst case scenario; if not, this is the time to turn back.  Otherwise, move ahead and commit totally.
§  Act Decisively.  If you have worked the process out correctly – ACT, GO; MOVE: GET THE JOB DONE.  This is the true key to motivation: Get moving, get the momentum and you gain power.  Too many people sit around waiting to be motivated – as if some chemical reaction will take place and get them magically started.  The only thing that can motivate you is you.
§  Have the courage to fail.  You will probably fail in some part of your plan.  Don’t blame others.  If you really own your decisions; you’ll own the successes and failures that they bring. 

In looking over his thoughts on decision-making, one thing really stood out for me and that was “motivation.”  I have been inspired by many 4C women, yet motivation has been the hurdle I have and continue to struggle with at times.  In reflecting on Statement #13, it is so clear to me that motivation is my responsibility.  Motivation is my follow-through for the gift of inspiration that I’ve been handed.  The question is how do I create the habit of self -motivation?  If I am to act, go, move, get the job done, what is blocking me from doing so?  How would you answer these questions?

Bonded in being in charge of our lives,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission. 

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, June 18, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #12




 

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”  -Suzy Kassem

“The person we believe ourselves to be will always act in a manner consistent with our self-image.”  -Brian Tracy 

“You do not need to pay attention to those voices within you that create pain, or make you feel less competent, smart or able.”  -Sanaya Roman 

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Statement #12, “I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.”
This is what I am, and I shall know it always.
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      Doubt was a dark shroud that hung heavily across my life before sobriety and recovery.  It affected each aspect of life; from who I believed myself to be, to what was or wasn’t possible.  It would insert different levels of uncertainty and it was especially loud whenever an attempt was made to step out of a comfort zone.  Doubt would scream “It’s impossible! - Don’t even try! and Who do you think you are?”  With a negative pathway as wide as this, alcohol easily slid right in and took up residence.
      Through sobriety and the WFS New Life Program and, in particular, Statement #12, doubt can be evicted.  Like a magician using smoke and mirrors, doubt is an illusion.  In our WFS Beginner’s Collection booklet on page 46, the exercise asks us to “List all your accomplishments, all the things you can do; sing, write, play the piano, do bookkeeping, teach, repair appliances, speak foreign languages, drive a car, type etc.”  From this one list, the illusion of doubt will lessen, while confidence and competence increase.
      Building upon each of your abilities, an increase in feelings of competence arises.  Instead of finishing the above described list, maybe add to it every week, month or year to witness the progress.  Take many factors into consideration.  Maybe you began to play guitar last year and can strum quite a few songs yet also add the fact if you can now say “no” without guilt, meditate/ journal daily or finish what you started.  Paint your competence with a wide brush, enjoying your uncovered and bright New Life!

Hugzzz
Karen
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Hi 4C Women,
      I am grateful for Statement #12 as I doubted my competency for much of my younger life.  Now that I am 73, younger is up to at least 55!  Drinking certainly didn’t help but was a wonderful excuse for my disillusioned lack of adequacy in decision-making.  I discovered that it was my fear of failure and making a mistake in choices that fed my negative thoughts.  Going through my divorce was a kick in the butt to start believing that I was competent and thanks for WFS, I actually started trusting myself.  I survived failures, mistakes and acknowledged the positive outcomes of my decisions when they occurred.  It wasn’t all or nothing, it was learning to accept and cope in a much healthier way.
      Here are some questions if you are struggling with believing you are a competent woman and have much to give life: 

·        What makes us think we don’t measure up?
·        Why do we expect so little from ourselves?
·        What kills our self-respect? 

The answers vary.  Consider these: 

*Are we looking too much for the approval of others?
*Are we perfectionists, expecting too much from ourselves?
*Are we intimidated by the lost battles and failures of the past?
*Are we over-impressed by the success of others?
*Are we trying to escape responsibility by claiming to be a failure?
*Are we lacking a sense of proportion?  Do we tend to make mountains out of molehills?
*Is our sense of humor weak?  Can we laugh at ourselves?

These are such great questions.  I hope you will take the time to reflect on the questions you feel resonate with you.

Bonded in competency,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission. 

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #11




“If you approach each new person you meet in a spirit of adventure, you will find yourself endlessly fascinated by the new channels of thought and experience and personality that you encounter.”  -Eleanor Roosevelt

“Live your truth.  Express your love.  Share your enthusiasm.  Take action towards your dreams.  Walk your talk.  Dance and sing to your music.  Embrace your blessings.  Make today worth remembering.”  -Steve Maraboli

“Enthusiasm is a divine possession.”  -Margaret Sanger

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Statement #11, “Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.”
I treasure the moments of my New Life.
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WOW!

Can you feel it?  The enthusiasm and joy from Conference weekend has been spread across the country, across the world even, brought to life from one woman’s past determination and enthusiasm for a New Life.  Through her own discoveries, our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD, opened a portal for incredible possibility.  Through this portal, enthusiasm continues to grow and evolve.

Our opening ceremony certainly evolved, and we let go…literally!  Moving and magical, whispers of enthusiasm began to build.  Saturday morning, Karlee Fain, our inviting keynote speaker took us into thrive mode, sending us off to empowering workshops and wonder.  Auction time filled our hearts and our totes with brightly colored quilts, masterpieces, an absolutely stunning scrapbook and many other gems to either share or sweetly savor.

Statement #11 was in full display during karaoke on Saturday night and we closed our weekend securing our connections.  Feeling refreshed and renewed, emails and phone numbers were shared, and new friendships cemented.  Thank you for being a part of this treasured weekend.  Ride your wave of enthusiasm!
 
Hugzzz
Karen
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Hi 4C Women,
      The conference was a joyful, enthusiastic, soulful event.  We bonded with understanding and acceptance.  I am at a loss to fully express the loving support shared throughout the weekend and that doesn’t happen often for me.
      Nancy Cross once wrote that Enthusiasm is like the jet fuel for motivation.  How do we sustain it?  Are we running on empty, so busy with everyday tasks that we lose our enthusiasm for even the smallest moments of joy or those spontaneous moments?
      Here are some tips I found online to the question of how to keep yourself motivated from http://ineedmotivation.com/10-ways-to-have-amazing-enthusiasm/: 

Be passionate  *  Be grateful  *  Be positive  *  Be proud  *
Be proactive  *  Be reasonable  *  Be enlightened  *  Be evolving

These are a few tips on being passionate in order to continue feeling enthusiasm: 

What puts a smile on your face?  Is there a particular event, a particular topic that makes your whole face just lighten up?  Whatever it is that makes you smile, and makes you happy whenever you encounter it, this is a sign of something you are passionate about.  I truly believe that happiness and passion walk hand in hand.  Both require each other.  So, following what makes you truly happy is a wonderful way to figuring out what you were put on Earth for.  Think about something that you do or that perhaps you used to do that brings total peace to you when you do it.  Peace is happiness, and happiness is passion. 

What do you find easy?  Usually, what we find easy for us to do, will be related to what we are passionate about.  It’s very hard to hate something that is very easy for us!  For example, let’s say you are naturally good at playing the piano, you will find the activity easy, and this ease makes it much more fun for you.  Fun leads to happiness and happiness is synonymous with passion.  So, assess everything that you do, whatever it is that you find really easy and fun, this may very well be your passion.  And don’t think that anything is off limits or silly.

What sparks your creativity?  Think about something in your life where you seem to always expand its horizon, always coming up with new, fun, and exciting ideas relating to that subject.  Whatever makes you creative, is probably something that you are very passionate about.

What would you do for free?  In this society, we are ruled by the almighty dollar.  That’s the way the system works, and that’s the game we have to play.  The problem is, this leads many people to seek making money first, instead of what makes them happy.  I have read countless number of stories about stock brokers and doctors for example, leaving their high paying positions to follow what they really love.  There is a reason for that.  I truly believe that if you follow what you are passionate about without thinking about if it will make you rich or not, you will end up being successful.  Doing what you have a passion for brings out your best, and this leads to greatness.  Greatness breezes to success.  Do you think that the most successful people in the world got to where they are because they wanted to get rich?  Absolutely not, they did what they were so passionate about, and their immense success was just a byproduct of their dedication.  So, think about something that you would just love to do, even if you were not getting paid. Think about something that you look forward to do, something that you wish you could do all the time.

What do you like to talk about?  The topics of conversation we have can definitely tell what we are interested in, and this is a good way to find out what we really enjoy in life.  Most of the time, we aren’t totally aware of this.  This is why, a very good way to figure this out properly, is to ask your friends.  Ask them what they believe you like to talk about the most.  Ask them what topic makes your eyes brighten up, and changes your entire behavior.  I can guarantee you that some of their answers will be surprising to you.  Some of these things weren’t that clear to you, but your friends can see the reaction on your face that you can’t see yourself.  Try it out, it’s a very insightful exercise, and one that can direct you closer to figuring out your passion.

What makes you unafraid of failure?  When we do what we are passionate about, we have total confidence in our abilities.  This makes us not worry about failing, because in our mind, how can we fail when we do what we love?  Doing what you love is a success in and of itself, so failure is like an impossibility.  Think of something that you just do or want to do, no matter what.  Something that you do not have second thoughts about.  Think about something that you feel you must do and that failure is not even a concern of yours, because the mere act of doing it is like the journey and the destination all wrapped up in one.  This may very well be your true passion.

This last one reminded me of the encouraging words we heard throughout the weekend.  It’s all about trying, facing the fear and letting it go in order to fill our lives with something that provides meaning, joy and enthusiasm.  What would that be for you?
 
Bonded in treasuring those moments of enthusiasm in our New Life,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, June 4, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #10




“Learning to love yourself is easier when you have someone to show you how.”  -Martina Boone

“Love is multi-faceted.  It can be shared in many ways.  We can receive love from friends, family, partners, colleagues, spouses, and even pets.  We can experience it through nature, companionship, romance, or a sense of loving connection to the world.”  -WFS Program booklet 

“All recovery roads lead to the ability to love and be loved.”  -Nancy Cross 

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Statement #10, “All love given returns.”  I am learning to know that I am loved.
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      In a few short days, over a hundred twenty women will be converging in a quaint little town in Pennsylvania.  Suitcases and auction items are being readied and the WFS office is in full swing.  Thanks to dedicated volunteers and our steadfast office crew, Conference 2018 will be underway in just days!
      Our founder Jean Kirkpatrick PhD, in her own search for a New Life, has given each of us a new way to experience sobriety; to enjoy the present, leave the past behind while planning for tomorrow.  What a gift of love the WFS Program is and a wonderful example of Statement #10 in action.  It is a joy to see Jean’s legacy in the hearts of 4C women everywhere.
      Love in action takes many forms.  From the online community, face to face meetings, WFS Conference or simply living a sober life, love continues to flourish.  Love is an expressway for courage, a path for learning and an opening for connection.  Soon, the sound of laughter will fill the dorms, with late night chatter and early morning walkers or joggers.  Workshops will inspire, encourage and bring insight or comfort.  Bids on the many auction items will continue to rise, showcasing the talents of creative 4C women.  Love will be displayed with new friendships being formed as Conference buddies get to know each other and familiar friends catch up.  Ready, set, GO!

Hugzzz
Karen
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Hi 4C Women,
      I am so excited to be attending the WFS conference.  This is my 25th conference and I continue to be inspired with all that is offered.  I am especially excited to meet new attendees and reconnect with friends I’ve made over the years.
      I love this updated Statement.  Every time I read, “I am learning to know that I am loved,” I feel as though I am being given a huge, warm hug.  It took a long time to learn to love myself and to believe that I am loved by others.  If I didn’t love myself, how could I accept that others loved me.  I encourage those who need to accept love from others, to consider the following questions about loving yourself first.  These were actually sent to me in 2007 by Nancy Cross, whose quote in included at the beginning of Karen’s message.  Nancy was a phenomenal woman who was very involved in WFS for many years. 

·        Do you love yourself?
·        Are you in harmony with you?
·        Do you treat yourself with respect?
·        Are you generous, kind and supportive of you?
·        Do you trust yourself and treat yourself as though you can be trusted?
·        Do you accept your weaknesses and celebrate your successes? 

      Until you love who you are...not just say it, but do it and believe it...you will never find the love you are or the love you believe someone else has to give you.
      The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.  Love, nurture, practice self-care and all that love given to yourself will be returned and experienced in various ways--from romantic relationships, friendships, family, pets...What/whom can you add to this list? 

Bonded in learning to know you are loved,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!