Thursday, May 31, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #9




“I had been so focused on what to discard, on attacking the unwanted obstacles around me, that I had forgotten to cherish the things that I loved, the things I wanted to keep.”  -Marie Kondo

“Leave who you were.  Love who you are.  Look forward to who you will become.”  -unknown

“By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved—and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses—you actually can enhance everything about you.  Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.”  -Jack Canfield 

*****************************************************
Statement #9, “The past is gone forever.”
No longer am I victimized by the past. I am a new woman.
*****************************************************  
 

     The bright, pink juice of the ripe watermelon being sliced was dripping onto the counter and creating a sticky mess.  As the nearby bowl filled up with the sweet tasty pieces of fruit, my mind was flooded with emotions from the past.  Feelings of satisfaction and well-being induced a smile, while my present thoughts dove deeper into the past.  Was this a new aspect of Statement #9 coming to light?
      Sobriety and Statement #9 in action enable the release of painful emotions and feelings, yet it can also encourage feelings of contentment and appreciation.  Before handing out a slice of watermelon to any child, my mother would fold a paper towel into thirds, wrap them around each wrist and secure them with tape.  It was only then we could enjoy a juicy slice of watermelon.  These “watermelon sleeves” prevented sticky arms, legs and of course, furniture and became a family tradition.
      Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., knew how important it was to release the past and remain present.  Statement #9 provides a path for letting go, yet this healing Statement can also be utilized to cherish and not cling to those past moments which have contributed to our being.  Feelings of appreciation can enter, encouraging gratitude and contentment.  From a simple slice of watermelon to sobriety and New Life, life is sweet!
 
Hugzzz
Karen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi 4C Women,
      I love all the quotes and how Karen reminded us that there are parts of the past we need to keep.  Statement #9 is about healing from the painful past and moving forward, not victimizing ourselves with living in the pain.  It reminded me of my 27-year marriage that ended in divorce.  I know the negative outweighed the positive, hence the divorce, but that is the key point - there were positives along the way.  Not that I don’t go back to the pain every now and then, but I don’t live in the pain and I don’t let it hold me hostage as it did in the past.  Resentment grows from holding onto the painful past.  It closes off the paths to healing, to forgiveness and to a New Life.  Letting go doesn’t mean the hurt wasn’t real.  It means we will not be imprisoned to a past we cannot change.  I think it is the purest form of freedom and forgiveness.
      In reflecting on the past, are you bound to the residual feelings of “should have”, “what if”, “why me” and mostly “regret”?  Here’s a different way to look at the past.  Accept that you made mistakes, learn from it so you set healthier boundaries, forgive yourself, practice self-compassion, trust yourself and build trust with others and have a plan that supports your choices to not repeat unhealthy patterns.  This will empower you to continue moving forward because you can’t do otherwise if you keep looking in the rear view mirror with fear and judgment.  You are a new woman!
Bonded in letting go,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________
 
Special Extended Registration Period!


 Special extended registration period ends June 3rd, 2018.
10% late registration fee applied automatically at time of registration.
 _____________________________________________________________________

© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
https://womenforsobriety.org/
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
 
Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WomenForSobriety/
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.
 DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!
 

Monday, May 21, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #8



“Where your fear is, there is your task.”  -C.G. Jung

“Everything that seemingly happens externally is occurring in order to trigger something within us, to expand us and take us back to who we truly are.”  -Anita Moorjani

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”  -Nelson Mandela 

***********************************************************************
Statement #8, “The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.”
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
*********************************************************************** 

      Sobriety and recovery invite growth, yet it is the continued practice of Statement #8 which produces and illuminates the all-encompassing beauty of a 4C woman.  No longer held captive, independence begins to flourish, strength expands and discernment advances.
      Active addiction stunts healthy growth while slowly separating life from living, thereby increasing feelings of loneliness and separation.  Guilt and shame can develop, creating an even further divide.  Emotional and/or spiritual pain can begin to feel normal with the attempts to regain balance feeling foreign and fearful.
      From our WFS Program booklet, “Growth is an essential aspect of our recovery.  It is the process of learning who we are and where to focus our efforts for personal change.”  Identifying fears and moving through them instead of away springs Statement #8 into action.  Cultivating this growth boosts self-value and self-esteem, enriching life and cementing connections. 

Is there a fear holding you back right now?  What would happen if you moved through that fear? 

Hugzzz
Karen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi 4C Women, 

I’ve said so many times over the years that I thought there would be a time when emotional and spiritual growth would be accomplished - job done, no further work required.  I am constantly learning how incorrect I was.  The good news is that the learning curve does lessen, yet it doesn’t end.  We continue to learn about our ability to face change without substances that use to cloud our judgment, gain knowledge about our resiliency to face fears, hurts or disappointments, develop a positive attitude along with positive self-talk, accept what we can and cannot control and releasing the past to keep moving forward.  That’s a lot of emotional and spiritual growth taking place once we are open and willing to take action.  That’s the most important part of any change.  Words on a piece of paper are just that - words.  While knowledge is necessary, it is the use of that knowledge in action that creates the powerful, empowering life we are seeking.  All of this requires time, dedication and commitment.  Mistakes will be made yet those mistakes teach us new ways of responding, reacting to future situations.  And let’s remember - we are not alone on this journey.  I value and appreciate the support and guidance from the women in WFS.  I feel safe and nurtured by them.  They have helped me achieve, relearn and accept myself where I am at each stage of my life. 

I found some questions from a book I bought at conference, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, by Marilee Adams, Ph.D.  If you are wondering what might be helpful to practice Statement #8, consider some of her questions listed below: 

·        What are the facts here?  (I’m a big believer in gathering info before I react as I use to.)
·        What new ways can I think about or approach this?
·        Is this what I want to feel?
·        Is this what I want to be doing?
·        What am I missing or avoiding?
·        Am I seeing the big picture?
·        Will this get me what I really want?
·        How is this working for me?
·        What is my choice right now?

Perhaps you can share your situation with others you trust and obtain some input as you consider the questions above.  It’s all part of the emotional and spiritual growth journey and learning how to set priorities.

Bonded in emotional and spiritual growth,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________

Special Extended Registration Period! 



Special extended registration period ends June 3rd, 2018.
10% late registration fee applied automatically at time of registration.
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #7


“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.”  -Helen Keller

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”  -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“How do you spell love?”  -Piglet    ---------    “You don’t spell it.  You feel it.”  -Pooh
 
***********************************************************************
Statement #7, “Love can change the course of my world.”  Caring is all-important.
*********************************************************************** 

      Before sobriety and New Life, love was something I craved.  Love felt so distant, love felt confusing and I felt unworthy of receiving love.  In order to satisfy that craving and experience the love I so desperately chased, it became easy to take dangerous risks, or allow abusive behavior while isolating away from life.  Addiction now had access and easily took hold.
      From our Program booklet, “Learning to love ourselves and others can be very challenging.  We may distrust others and fear being vulnerable.  We may be unable to accept love because we doubt it is valid or deserved.  As our self-image improves, we learn how to accept love and affirm we are worthy of love.”  Sobriety and Statement #7 in action create a portal for love to grow and flourish.  Embracing sobriety and recovery is akin to a daily love letter sent straight to the heart declaring “I love you.”
      Today, with hindsight and the practice of Statement #7, I understand that love was always present.  Chasing, hiding, or avoiding were just tactics which kept me from feeling love; all I had to do was slow down and feel the beautiful experience that love is. 

Here are 4 ways to give yourself love:
1.      Learn, embrace and use your strengths:  Discover/uncover strengths and use them daily.
2.      The word “no” is a complete sentence:  Setting boundaries is great self-care.
3.      Life is meant to be felt:  Experience your feelings and express them in healthier ways.
4.      Give up comparisons:  You are uniquely YOU.  No one has lived your life, why compare?

Hugzzz
Karen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi 4C Women,
      I love the 4 ways to give yourself love that Karen shared in this message.  Giving love has always been a lot easier for me than receiving love.  A question arose in our group about this Statement – “What is the way you like love to be shown?”  I thought about that and found there are several answers depending on the person and the situation.  It could be a simple thank you in appreciation for something I did or offering help without my asking because the person saw the need.  Recognizing what fills your love tank is crucial.  It can prevent you from seeking love, as the song says, “in all the wrong places.”  I know I did that for a long time.  I am so grateful that I learned about self-care in WFS and therapy.
      Self-care taught me to first love and respect myself, learn to be my own best friend, set healthy boundaries, stop the comparison game and accept me for who I was at any given moment as I worked on my sobriety. 

Here are some additional questions to ponder:
·        How can I practice more compassionate self-care?
·        Who else would benefit from loving myself even a little bit more?
·        How open am I to receiving love?
·        Have you learned to trust yourself and others in receiving love to lessen the fear of rejection?
·        Are you struggling with being a people-pleaser?
·        Have you learned to respect and value yourself, forgiving and healing from your past?
·        Who is part of your love circle?

      I encourage you to take the time to answer these questions.  Perhaps you would be willing to share your answers in a group meeting or privately with someone you feel safe to trust with your deepest feelings.  Hopefully these answers will guide you in living/practicing Statement #7 to its fullest.

Bonded in compassionate self-care,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________

Don’t miss this workshop at the
June 8-10 in Center Valley, PA

 
Book Origami
Finding activities we enjoy is important in recovery. We are encouraged to explore our creative self. Book Origami is fun and easy and requires a minimum of materials (an old book, a pencil, a ruler). In this workshop you will learn how to fold the pages in the book so that the end result is a 3D butterfly that you can display as a piece of art. 

Book folding has been around for a few years now, but only recently has it really taken off. This type of crafting resonates with upcylers, because it’s economical and different. It is also very easy, so for those who feel they are artistically challenged, this is a great way to make something fun and beautiful – and boost self-esteem!
 

Nancy M/Nanserz (Peer Presenter)  -  Nancy has been sober for over 3 years using the WFS Program. She has rediscovered her creative self in recovery and enjoys sharing things she has learned with others. An active member of the online forums, she can primarily be found participating with new members (aka “Newbies”) in their connections group in addition to her Sunday night chat sessions. She will be assisted by lisa4r.
 
 
 
 
 

 


_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, May 7, 2018

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #6




“Life is not about speed but direction--not about form but content--not about having and getting-- but loving and sharing.”  -Unknown

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”  -Mahatma Gandhi

“You can’t copy anybody, and end with anything.  If you copy, it means you’re working without any real feeling.”  -Billie Holiday 

**************************************************
Statement #6, “Life can be ordinary or it can be great.”
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
************************************************** 

      In our Program booklet, Jean writes, “Although we only get a one-way ticket through life, we speed through our days as if planning to enjoy them at another time.  We live as if we have an endless number of tomorrows.”  How true this can be for many individuals; the collection of moments takes priority over active participation or enjoyment.  The increasing desire for more and more, void of contentment and simple satisfaction creates a cycle of emptiness and a craving for more.
      Scrambling to get the “best picture, best angle or best copy” instead of enjoying the real thing steals the greatness contained within.  Yet a copy is simply a copy, it is no substitute for the real thing.  Sobriety and Statement #6 in action create a remedy for slowing down an ever-increasing speed of life.
      With the practice of the WFS Statements, learning to live in the moment instead of collecting them continues to feel more natural.  Skipping the photo op and consciously absorbing the sights, smells, relationships, whatever the moment includes, can feel ordinarily great and bring about contentment, which interrupts the cycle of lack.  Even those moments which can feel uncomfortable now have an opportunity to become part of a growth experience. 

Hugzzz
Karen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi 4C Women,
      Living in the moment!  I am so fortunate to have grown up in a time when people looked into your face while having a conversation and not looking down at their phones giving a sense of half interest or none at all.  I love taking photos and am learning to enjoy the moment and not photograph it to the point that I am missing the moment completely.
      I believe Statement #6 is about change in making a “conscious” effort to be aware of our surroundings and our feelings.  Think about how many moments have slipped by due to distraction or already moving on to the next task?  Creating this awareness is part of the group meeting when we share something positive that happened whether it was a change in our reaction/response or how we felt and how it relates to any one of the 13 Statements.  It’s important to recognize as well that greatness is also experienced in ordinary moments.  It doesn’t always need to be a spectacular event or encounter.  In recovery, those ordinary moments can feel exhilarating just for the fact that we are feeling them with clarity and joy.
      We talk about change in our responses/reactions as they are vitally important in developing our New Life.  While creating awareness, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that there are things we want to keep in our lives.  Could you imagine if we felt we had to change everything!  Last Monday we talked about our positive qualities and to list them.  Those are the things we need to keep along with those relationships that nourish us.  Change is about enhancing our lives, embracing our accomplishments, handling sobriety with new coping skills and keeping hope in our hearts.
      Our group did an exercise a while back about sensory delights.  It helped us become more aware, to pause when we smelled, saw, felt, tasted or heard something that brought us joy.  There are 5 questions and each one asks for 5 answers:
1.      I love the taste of:
2.      I love the sight of:
3.      I love the feel of:
4.      I love the smell of:
5.      I love the sound of: 

Bonded in creating greatness, ordinary or extraordinary,
4C WFS member
_____________________________________________________________________ 

Don’t miss this workshop at the
June 8-10 in Center Valley, PA 

Book Origami
Finding activities we enjoy is important in recovery. We are encouraged to explore our creative self. Book Origami is fun and easy and requires a minimum of materials (an old book, a pencil, a ruler). In this workshop you will learn how to fold the pages in the book so that the end result is a 3D butterfly that you can display as a piece of art. 

Book folding has been around for a few years now, but only recently has it really taken off. This type of crafting resonates with upcylers, because it’s economical and different. It is also very easy, so for those who feel they are artistically challenged, this is a great way to make something fun and beautiful – and boost self-esteem! 

Nancy M/Nanserz (Peer Presenter)  -  Nancy has been sober for over 3 years using the WFS Program. She has rediscovered her creative self in recovery and enjoys sharing things she has learned with others. An active member of the online forums, she can primarily be found participating with new members (aka “Newbies”) in their connections group in addition to her Sunday night chat sessions. She will be assisted by lisa4r. 


_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
Messages of Hope on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenforsobriety/
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.
 
DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!