Monday, October 30, 2017

Monday Thoughts ~ Statement #12


 
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 “It’s time.  All of this pretending and performing—these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt—has to go.  Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts.  I understand that you needed these protections when you were small.  I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.  Time is growing short.  There are unexplored adventures ahead of you.  You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think.  You were born worthy of love and belonging.  Courage and daring are coursing through you.  You were made to live and love with your whole heart.  It’s time to show up and be seen.”
-Brene´ Brown 

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Statement #12, “I am a competent woman and have much to give life.”
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
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+ Karen’s Perspective +
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        Hiding behind inadequacy felt comfortable before WFS and New Life.  It was easy to run away from life’s moments, using feelings of lack for an excuse.  Fearing success, worrying thoughts of “what would others expect next” circulated through my mind.  This line of thinking obstructed action, which only increased feelings of incompetence and I turned to alcohol for relief.  Over time, this increased feeling worthless and shook my belief system.
        The trio of sobriety, recovery and Statement #12 in action, enable a building and strengthening of ability.  This growing competence shelters and guards my core, increasing feelings of worth and fulfillment.  Statement #12 affirms value and confirms worth simply by being read and simply doing my best.  In early sobriety, I read these empowering words out-loud for added benefit.
        Today, this framework of competence supports and enhances New Life.  From decision making to treading outside comfort zones, Statement #12 in action feels encouraging, motivating and self-enhancing.  Turning towards challenges, fear of success loses its grip and competency takes hold.  Capable, competent, caring and compassionate?  Absolutely!!!!  Hugzzz, Karen

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+  Member Insights  +
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Hi 4C Women,

It took a long time to realize that I am a competent woman.  There was little trust in my being able to handle any challenge, big or small.  Having been on my own for many years now, I have learned a few things about myself when it comes to competency.  I know I love to get things done.  I still procrastinate over spending but organizing and gathering information has become my way of feeling competent.  I may at times question my decisions yet I feel so accomplished when I make them.  The fear of making a mistake has lessened because if I do, I truly do my best to see it as a lesson, not a tragedy.

My thoughts turn to how much do I give to life.
·         Am I in the moment?
·         Am I giving to myself as I give to others?
·         Am I living in integrity, being authentic? 

Questions from the WFS New Life Diary for Statement #12:
1.       What I can do:
2.       What I’d like to do:
3.       Why I’m not doing it:

I believe these questions are about acknowledging our accomplishments, our gifts and talents, our relationship with ourselves and others.  It also raises the question of our dreams, our desires and why we’re not doing them.  Is it because we might fail or not making time for ourselves.  Having much to give life needs to include ourselves.  Loving and giving to ourselves is one of the most important aspects of Statement #12.  Remember, we are the authors of our own lives.  -4C WFS Member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.
 
DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, October 23, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #5



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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’  Actually, who are you not to be?”  -Marianne Williamson

“If we did all things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”
-Thomas Alva Edison

“I’ve finally stopped running away from myself.  Who else is there better to be?”  -Goldie Hawn

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Statement #5, “I am what I think.”  I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
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+ Karen’s Perspective +
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        Alcohol had an insidious way of decreasing my belief system.  Initially under the influence, I felt a sense of power and courage unknown to me.  Yet over time, my drinking carved out caring, carved out abilities and soon found myself unable to believe in anything other than alcohol.  My relief system had robbed me of my belief system.
        Sobriety and Statement #5 encourage a shift in thinking.  Learning to examine thoughts, I initially felt fear and wondered where in the world all this babble was coming from.  It was exhausting trying to learn what I was thinking, but with growing awareness, a long-lost ability began to surface.  The influence of alcohol lost its power and I began to learn how to manage thoughts.
        Challenging self-defeating thoughts, I began repairing my belief system.  “Why couldn’t I?” became a daily question which led to new opportunities and adventures, renewing a sense of self.  Building upon uncovered strengths, I began to understand the value of sobriety and recovery and this diminished craving and made triggers less of a trigger.  With this healthier sense of belief and self, I am capable, competent, caring and compassionate!  Hugzzz, Karen

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+  Member Insights  +
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Hi 4C Women,
        I relate to Karen’s description of being robbed of her belief system by her “relief” system.  My belief system was already in shambles before I completely depleted and defeated my ability to change that negative definition of me with alcohol.  The stronger my feelings of inadequacy grew, the more I ran away by numbing those feelings.  This past year has challenged my belief system to the core.  While I sometimes go back to wondering just how 4C a woman I am, I must remember that I am definitely stronger, more competent than I was when I started this recovery journey.  I share this because I once believed that sobriety alone would be the key to living a fantastic, stress-free life.  If I have learned anything over the years, it is that there is no perfect life, no smooth sailing just because I am sober.  If I had not learned this life lesson, I am not sure I would have remained sober throughout the years and most of all, believed in my ability to handle some very devastating situations.  This is where I use the coping tools learned in WFS.  I dig my heels in and put that positive self-talk into high gear.  It doesn’t end there though because I have also learned that I do not have to go through these rough times alone.  I ask for help which is not easy.  I believe many women feel this way.  We were taught to be caregivers, to make everyone happy and putting ourselves first was considered selfish or conceited.  What a defeating message and with such crushing consequences.  So I cry when I feel it and also laugh spontaneously when that feeling arrives in my heart.  Sobriety is not a guarantee that life will be easy.  What it does offer is the ability to build confidence, to learn problem-solving skills, make healthier decisions, ask for help, express uncomfortable feelings rather than numb or run away from them, to feel pain and survive.  As long as I am learning new skills, I am growing.
        I have learned to expect challenges and not fall totally apart because of them.  Now that was something I never believed could happen.  I still have moments when I question my ability to handle the toughest situations yet truly believe in the deepest part of my soul that I can.  Just need to take a breath, a moment, and tell myself - stop, pause but keep going, knowing that long and big journeys begin with small steps.  Set backs are a part of life and trusting we can handle the outcome without numbing, retreating completely within our addiction, is crucial.  It is the time to speak up, to reach out and to recognize if we are isolating too much or pretending we’re just fine when we are not.  Keeping silent will cause us unneeded harm.  I say, no more hiding!  The end result is the reward of sobriety - freedom, choice, support and sharing and believing in those 4C characteristics within each of us.
        I was thinking of this question asked by many adults when I was growing up if I asked for something they thought was extravagant or if I behaved inappropriately in their estimation:  Who do you think you are?!!!!  Well, let me tell you today who I think I am!  It would be a much different answer.  How about you?  -WFS Member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.
 
DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, October 16, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #13

 

Life is Change

Growth is Possible

Choose Wisely
 
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“Work on yourself first, take responsibility for your own progress.”  -I Ching 

“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes…and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.”  -Eleanor Roosevelt

“A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences.  You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.”  -Denis Waitley 
 
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Statement #13, “I am responsible for myself and for my actions.”
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
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+ Karen’s Perspective +
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        “I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts and my life” is an incredibly powerful sentence.  Completely unaware of this ability before my New Life, I lived in opposition, blame and felt utterly powerless.  It felt as though everything was impossible and responsibility was something to fear.
        One of the reasons I am so passionate about Women for Sobriety is these thirteen Statements change lives and lay a foundation for empowerment.  In the past, I lived life through eyes of a victim and retreated into alcohol for relief.  This not only didn’t solve a thing, I created further dependencies which, over time, tore away my identity.  Self-value and worth became what others needed or took which crushed my being.
        Statement #13 in action is empowering.  Discovering the ability to manage my own mind, I began to unlearn unhealthy behaviors and institute fresh lines of thinking.  These thoughts translated into action and I soon found myself living in a state of response-ability.  I began to define and create my own experiences and success instead of trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all box.  Connecting with women in face to face meetings and the WFS Online Forum, I began to learn about what responsibility is and isn’t, which eased my fears.  A whole new world of choice seemed to open right in front of me.  Opportunities never dreamt of came into view, leading to feelings of renewed spirit and empowerment.  I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts and my life.  You are too!  Hugzzz, Karen

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+  Member Insights  +
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Hi 4C Women,
        I use Statement 13 whenever I feel overwhelmed with decisions that need to be made.  My mind gets a bit scattered and I tell myself that no matter what the outcome, I am in charge of myself!  In the past I was afraid to make decisions because I didn’t trust my instincts, feared failure and was not prepared to cope with it.  Never looked at failure as a life lesson, just plain old failure.  One of the side effects of my failing is that I have become a seeker of information.  I take my time in making decisions as I gather pertinent information.  The second side effect is that I now trust my instincts.  My many failures have filled my baggage full with invaluable lessons.  I once read that we are free to choose but not free from the consequences of our choices.  If I make a wrong choice, I put the consequences in my baggage of life-lessons.  No tearing myself apart because there is no lesson learned in that behavior.  As I practice Statement 13, I also begin removing the negative baggage that crushed my self-worth.  This is why it’s imperative to learn, to grow emotionally and spiritually, to forgive ourselves so that we live as empowered women.  We are in charge of our lives through the ups and downs, mistakes, right choices, failures and successes.

Consider these questions: 

·         How do you react/respond to failure?
·         Can you name the life-lessons you have gained in failure or success?
·         Do you give yourself credit for your successes understanding that you do make healthy choices?
·         What is an unhealthy behavior that you have unlearned?
·         What have you replaced it with?
·         Describe the last time you trusted your instinct – the situation, the people, the outcome.
·         Can you create a positive mantra that empowers you?

“Life is change, growth is possible, choose wisely” -WFS Member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.
 
DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Friday, October 13, 2017

WFS Auction on eBay - THE FINALE


 
CURRENT STATS 

Total of 185 Items Listed on eBay to support WFS!
THANK YOU!!

Approximately $172 so far in “Buy it Now” options!

As of 7PM Thursday: 67 Items HAVE NO BIDS
WE CAN DO BETTER!

GOAL: BUY EVERYTHING!
 
Check out items - CLICK HERE
 

CLOCK IS TICKING:

FRIDAY THE 13th: 40 Items are CLOSING

SATURDAY: 36 Items

SUNDAY: 40 Items

MONDAY: 47 Items

TUESDAY THE 17th: 3 Items

As of 8:25 PM Thursday: $2,001.84 in TOTAL BIDS SO FAR!

LET’S KEEP GOING!!!
 

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #3

 

 
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 “I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery, --air, mountains, trees, people.  I thought, ‘this is what it is to be happy.”  -Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“Happiness is not something readymade.  It comes from your own actions.”  -Dalai Lama

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.  You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes travel around the world looking for it.  You have to participate relentlessly the manifestations of your own blessings.  And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it.  You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”  -Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

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Statement #3, “Happiness is a habit I will develop.”  Happiness is created, not waited for.
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+ Karen’s Perspective +
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        Statement #3 encourages insight and action.  Jean Kirkpatrick states in our Program Booklet, “Happiness is a feeling that comes from an inner contentment, comes from being pleased with ourselves.”  A personal example of applying this Statement was when I learned our youngest Chihuahua was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  Noticing that he had started having difficulty breathing, our veterinarian immediately diagnosed the problem and he began medication.
        After experiencing and moving through the initial sadness, these feelings evolved into a sense of contentment.  The issue had been identified, the medication was working, and more importantly, my feelings shifted into gratitude and I began to luxuriate in the moments beside my 4-legged friend.
        In the past, alcohol would have stripped my ability to move past those initial, emotionally painful feelings.  With WFS and action into Statement #3, I feel a deep sense of inner contentment knowing that I can move through difficulties and feel pleased with my response.  Instead of turning to alcohol for relief, I have tools to live and experience life with greater ease.  Today, I understand there is a wide spectrum to happiness that includes acceptance and contentment.    Hugzzz, Karen
 
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+  Member Insights  +
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Hi 4C Women,
        I have a book on happiness:  “Field Guide to Happiness” by Barbara Ann Kipfer.  This book has 4 sections - Lists, Mind-Mapping, Keeping a Journal and Miscellaneous.  Now that last section intrigued me so I looked at it first.  It is chuck full of ideas to create happiness - 48 to be exact.  I’m not a fast reader so I skimmed over it and included a few.

·         Describe your favorite songs and how they make you feel.  Music stirs powerful emotions.
·         Read something that you want to read, not something that you feel compelled to read.
·         Create an “Alter” on your desk or by your bed – not something necessarily religious but more spiritual and cheering.
·         Open up your options for using simple means to raise your spirits.  Whatever you choose should replenish you, add to your fulfillment, nurture calmness or patience or general happiness.
·         Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn rather than occasions to succeed or fail.  Doing so opens you up to new possibilities and can increase your sense of happiness.
·         Seek out personal quiet time – resisting the idea that it’s a waste of time or it’s not working for you.
·         Give – in any way you can – time, help, money, stuff.  By being fully present and cultivating gratitude, generosity and kindness, we can find the renewable source of happiness in ourselves in each moment.
·         Drift – Let your mind drift for a few minutes.  Watch the clouds floating by or the fish swimming in an aquarium; observe the wind in the trees or grass, a fire in the fireplace, stars in the night sky.  Let go and let be.  Observe without judgement.
·         Create something you can tend to.  We often tend to the little rips, tears and loose buttons of life.  But how about tending something where you are actually nurturing growth?
·         Add dance.  Dance when the spirit moves you.  Disappear in the dance.  Dance as if you are expressing your gratitude for living.  In general, let life be more of a dance and less of a battle.  Dance a little bit each day.

        Years ago, I thought that it was the responsibility of others to make me happy.  I placed a great burden on them, an impossible task.  Thank goodness WFS included this very invaluable statement and lesson for me to live by.  I also learned there is a difference between people who care about me and do things that create happy moments and times for me and expecting them to do so.  I find immense joy in helping others, in sharing my life experience with the hope that I can bring encouragement to others, experience love and find happiness in being with my family and friends and lastly, I absolutely love to decorate for Spring, Fall and Winter.  When all the decorations are on display, I have this big smile across my face and in my heart.  There are many loving memories attached to my decorations.

«  What brings you happiness and joy?
«  Which of the ideas above do you think you can incorporate into your life to build or enhance your foundation of happiness?
-WFS Member


Click HERE to see items up for auction!
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!