Wednesday, May 31, 2017

National Women's Health Week

National Women's Health Resources

It's never too late to check into these resources for women's health awareness and concerns.  We are excited to see Women for Sobriety listed as a resource for help listed under the Tobacco and Substance Abuse section.
 
Here is the complete resource list for:
 
And here a few more informative links:
 

Monday, May 29, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #6



҉

 “When everything is moving and shifting, the only way to counteract chaos is stillness.  When things feel extraordinary, strive for ordinary.  When the surface is wavy, dive deeper for quieter waters.”
-Kristin Armstrong

“When we are no longer able to change a situation-we are challenged to change ourselves.”
-Viktor E.Frankl

“Everyone has inside of him (her) a piece of good news.  The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be!  How much you can love!  What you can accomplish!  And what your potential is!”  -Anne Frank

**********************************************************************************
Statement #6, “Life can be ordinary or it can be great.”  Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
**********************************************************************************

+++++++++++++++++++
+ Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
        For me, what is truly unique about the WFS Program is that the Statements do not tell me what to do or how to do it, instead I feel the Statements are an outline or a framework with which I can create a New Life.  Statement #6 is an excellent example, for what is great to me may be ordinary for someone else and vice-versa, yet it is up to me to determine how to apply this Statement to my life.
        I have also redefined how I use this Statement because while drinking I was searching for the next big thing, for greatness and for anything out of the ordinary.  So, my practice of Statement #6 is focused on feeling the contentment and stillness of the ordinary.  Examples of this can be my bedtime routine which may sound bland to others, yet for me it evokes feelings of contentment after so many nights of passing out or acknowledging the simple joy of waking up each morning without a hangover.
        The amount of effort required to feel this sense of contentment is the same or even less than the efforts I took before my New Life.  Guilt, drama, and emotional turmoil drained copious amounts of energy but Statement #6 in action help me to shore up any flood of negativity while returning to a sense of balance.  Contentment in the ordinary feels great!  Hugzzz, Karen

++++++++++++++++++
+  Member Insights  +
++++++++++++++++++
Hi 4C Women,
        I appreciate Karen’s last sentence that contentment in the ordinary feels great.  As I get older, I am finding that ordinary is a wonderful gift.  I have been taking care of my daughter for a while now and so I relate to ordinary being great.  To have a day when life falls into place and there is a feeling of peace, where pain isn’t the ever-present feeling and feeling helpless to change it.  I have also been doing a lot of re-framing and am so grateful that I am in a place where I can physically and emotionally (most of the time) take care of her.  That is great!  Now don’t get me wrong, I am also appreciative of spontaneity and exciting occurrences, opportunities to learn and grow about who I am and what I am capable of accomplishing.  This is the beauty of WFS and particularly this Statement.  Greatness can be what matters to you personally.  This is not a competition or a chance to feel badly about what you have or not have done thus far.  It’s having that awareness, as Karen described so well, about being in the moment, waking up sober, refreshed, ready to tackle whatever the day brings and to carry that out through the day.
        Life becomes extraordinary for me when I make my annual trip to PA and NJ to attend the WFS conference, visit my family and friends.  I am in the moment of reconnecting and bonding with women I see once a year or meeting for the first time, dear friends I made while working at the YWCA for 25 1/2 years and moderating the WFS meeting for 17 years.  Most especially, seeing my son and enjoying our time together.
        I would encourage you to remember that there is greatness in the ordinary and joy in being in the moment.  Stop, be still and observe.  There are so many inspiring and ordinary moments to capture.--WFS Member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, May 22, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #12



 

҉

 “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”  -Sally Field

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”  -Brigham Young

“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.”  -Rita Mae Brown

*************************************************************
Statement #12, “I am a competent woman and have much to give life.”
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
*************************************************************

+++++++++++++++++++
+ Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
        Sobriety and Statement #12 in action continue to assist in uncovering my strength and value.  In the past I struggled with identity; by comparing myself and only seeing value as it related to other relationships.  This left me in a people-pleasing mode which opened the door to emotional and physical abuse, and the phrase I uttered many times was, “I’m sorry.”  I had often felt alone in the world, helpless and invisible.  Alcohol fueled these feelings, with the world becoming more threatening while I slowly disappeared.  I tried to make up for these feelings by being the center of attention.  Today I understand that that was the only way I knew to validate myself.
        Initially, it was quite frightening to see or think of myself as a competent woman but I kept repeating this Statement in thought and in writing.  Saying these words soon began to feel empowering.  Daily sobriety and simple tasks began to add to a growing well of competence.  As my sobriety grew, so did the belief in myself.  Doubt began to dissipate, replaced with feelings of self-trust.  The more I trusted myself the more comfortable the world became.  This felt very new and exciting.
        The WFS Program is life-affirming and Statement #12 encourages introspection and acceptance.  Understanding value, I feel grateful for Jean and WFS.  I feel centered in life instead of trying to be the center of attention.  Measuring myself with my own yardstick, I release a need to compare.  With action and effort, (no matter how small) ability is increased, scope widened and I continue to become a blossoming, competent woman.  Hugzzz, Karen
 
++++++++++++++++++
+  Member Insights  +
++++++++++++++++++
Hi 4C Women,
        Sometimes it takes a single word or phrase to lessen my feelings of competency.  In the past, I would hold onto that feeling and believe it as my truth.  As Dr. Phil says, it takes mega positive statements about someone to erase one negative.  It was recently pointed out to me as well about a Ted Talk given by Brene’ Brown where she talks about getting a job review and hears 30 things done well and one “opportunity for growth.”  We forget those 30 things and think only about the “one opportunity for growth.”
        It is amazing how fragile or vulnerable we can become even as we grow in our feelings of being a competent woman.  This has been my journey and I feel it’s important to share.  It’s vital to understand that one lapse in having a negative thought is only that - a lapse.  It is not falling completely back into the woman you once were who questioned her value.  Being in what I refer to as a gray area in our lives is okay.  It’s the staying there that can be problematic.  This temporary gray area is all part of the continuing journey of rebuilding the self-esteem, self-worth and self-love you need and deserve.  It is the reward for working hard on becoming that competent woman.  There will be times in our lives when our circumstances and situations may put into question just how competent we feel.  This is the time to reflect honestly on all that we have accomplished, to reach out to others who know and care about us because just as we encourage and support others, we can ask to receive it as well.  Let’s face it, we all need encouragement.  While the work is ours to do, we are not alone and when we are in a fragile place in our lives, it may be more challenging to bolster our self-worth all on our own.
        While we become independent women, we must always remember that we are also interdependent and that’s when we are mutually dependent in a healthy manner.

·         Who and what is part of your support system as your grow your feeling of being a competent woman?
·         Who can you reach out to reaffirm the positive changes you have been making?
·         What self-talk do you give yourself when the doubts come in?
--WFS Member

_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.
 
DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, May 15, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #9

 

҉

 “Sometimes letting go is simply changing the labels you place on an event.  Looking at the same event with fresh eyes.”  -Steve Maraboli

“Dear Past, thank you for all the lessons.  Dear Future, I am ready!!!”  -Anonymous

“Your past may have built you, but it never reduced you.”  -Bianca Sparacino

*************************************************************************
Statement #9, “The past is gone forever.”
No longer will I be victimized by the past.  I am a new person.
*************************************************************************
 
+++++++++++++++++++
+ Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
        “The past is gone forever” is such an incredibly freeing statement.  WFS and Statement #9 in action have helped me learn how to live with my past instead of trying to run away from it.  I feel a sense of comfort today which was not present before my New Life and can glean insight which assists in the upcoming moments.
        For years, I tried to escape my past with alcohol but this only reinforced the control it had over me.  Alcohol also affected how my mind recalled the past.  Oftentimes it exaggerated the fun times while downplaying the not so fun times.  It also served as a memory distorter, jumbling around facts and creating situations out of thin air.  Along with distorting past events, alcohol briefly erased unpleasantness from my consciousness, until the next morning when it reappeared two-fold.
        Learning to be comfortable with my past takes time and commitment.  Statement #9 helps me do this by affirming where I am in this moment.  While the past can mean 10 seconds ago or 10 years ago, anyway I look at it there is no “redo button.”  Since the past is gone, I can reframe the moment in a new light.  This brings a sense of wonder to the immediate moment, filling it with life and love.  A small example of this might be an impulsive response to a beautiful setting sun, wanting to capture the colors with a photograph for countless viewings later.  Instead of struggling to grab a photo, I can simply sit in the breathtaking stillness, cognizant of the beauty unfolding around me and allow the wonder to touch and fill my soul.  Appreciating the moment, I leave the sunset behind while the beauty of that precious moment courses endlessly through my spirit.  Hugzzz, Karen
 
++++++++++++++++++
+  Member Insights  +
++++++++++++++++++
Hi 4C Women,
        Statement 9 - my all-time favorite!  I started moderating a WFS group in 1989 and at that time, my marriage was suffering.  Five years later I was divorced after 4 years of separation.  Statement 9 kept drawing me back into the present as I kept wondering how, after 27 years of marriage, that I still struggled with low self-esteem, fear of decision-making and guilt for not being able to make my marriage work.  I kept reflecting on the past and beating myself up for staying, for leaving, for emotionally hurting my children.  Finally, it became so clear to me that the “no longer will I be victimized by the past” was the key to release the past hurts, damage and pain because I was only hurting myself or so I thought.  I slowly began to realize that my negative feelings, thinking I could somehow change my feelings about the past without working on it, was also hurting my children.  It was that light bulb moment when I got it!  I could not change the past, absolutely impossible, but I could certainly learn from it, create awareness of how I allowed it to destroy my self-worth and not live in the pain.  I learned to temporarily sit in the pain, face it and find ways to change my thoughts, my attitude and most of all, my guilt and fear about what I could not change.  The more I practiced releasing the past, the more balanced my life became.  Even now when I need to communicate with my ex about our adult daughter who is very ill and he ignores me, I find myself hesitating out of fear.  I temporarily sit in that fear and the courage arrives to assure me that what matters is that I have my voice, I speak it and that is good.  After all, what can he do - divorce me?
        I encourage each of you to find ways to release the past, heal the pain, let go of guilt and live in the present so you can handle the current challenges that need your attention and cherish the good moments.  In other words, enjoy your New Life.  --WFS Member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, May 8, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #8





 
҉

 “Be patient with yourself.  Self-growth is tender, it’s holy ground.  There is no greater investment.”
-Steven Covey
 
“A woman is the full circle.  Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform.”
-Diane Mariechild
 
“We do not need magic to transform our world.  We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.”  -J.K. Rowling

************************************************************************
Statement #8, “The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.”
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
************************************************************************

+++++++++++++++++++
+ Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
     “Why can’t you grow up?  Why can’t you do what she/he does?  Are you always going to do/think/be that way?”  These were some of the negative self-talks that I had with myself before my New Life.  Repeatedly hearing these phrases from myself and occasionally others, left me feeling obsolete and unworthy.  Yet, under the influence I felt comfortable masquerading as me, oftentimes becoming the center of attention.
        Growth had been a frightening concept.  I equated growth with anxiety, much like the anxiety I had felt as a senior in high school, and I unconsciously avoided it.  Of course, I had felt grown up, but I was reacting to life through negative and unchallenged thinking.  Today, sobriety and Statement #8 in action create a portal for expansion.
        Whether it be spiritually or emotionally, today growth comes with an open mind and heart with the practice of Statement #8.  Instead of running away from an anxiety provoking moment, I can turn towards it, discovering strengths and uncovering abilities.  Taking this path, I can validate my being and affirm my worth which feels incredibly fulfilling and leads me into growth.  Prioritizing, which I also ran away from before sobriety, has now become an important factor in bringing a sense of balance to my life.  Discovering, enhancing and becoming is now my focus.  Hugzzz, Karen

++++++++++++++++++
+  Member Insights  +
++++++++++++++++++
Hi 4C Women,
        What I appreciate about WFS is that spiritual growth has its own path for each of us.  For some, it may be nature and others it may be their faith.  There are no requirements, just your own individual path to follow.  I found that I needed a lot more emotional growth before I could explore spiritual growth.
        I love how Karen said that emotional and spiritual growth comes with an open mind and heart.  I relate so much to that as I definitely was close-minded in my blame game and growing emotionally had a whole different slant all those years ago.  Once everyone accepted blame for my life, I would be emotionally stable and grown - so I thought!  It turned out to be just the opposite.  It wasn’t until I took responsibility for my emotional growth, learned to understand me, my behavior, my actions, and my history, that I was able to make positive changes.  It actually was empowering to move forward, to be in charge and to find my voice.  I realized that in staying stuck, being numb, I was paralyzed.  I was losing sight of all the beautiful gifts of strength, resilience and courage I had inside me to make my New Life.  It took a while and there are times that I still struggle yet I know all of my emotional setbacks are just lapses in response to extreme challenges.
        I will not go back to the person I was before I quit drinking.  I won’t be crying for weeks and blaming everyone for my situation.  That knowledge alone is freeing.  Whether it is emotional or spiritual growth, there are no guarantees that life will be perfect, that we will have figured everything out.  It is a lifelong journey and it’s our choice to work through each challenge, to identify the feeling and move forward no matter how slowly or quickly.  I am a firm believer in acknowledging feelings because that gives us something to work with.  If I deny my disappointment, anger, resentment, frustration or other negative feelings, how will I ever uncover the why and discover the what next?  To me, that is emotional growth and the spirit will lead me, fill my heart and hold me up while I heal and learn.  --WFS Member
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!

Monday, May 1, 2017

Monday's Message ~ Statement #5

 

҉

 
“A single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.  To make a deep physical path, we walk again, and again.  To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”  -Henry David Thoreau

“Change your thoughts and you change the world.”  -Norman Vincent Peale 

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.  When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”  -Buddha

*************************************************************
Statement #5, “I am what I think.”
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
*************************************************************

+++++++++++++++++++
+ Karen’s Perspective +
+++++++++++++++++++
        My ability to think and respond clearly was lost in my alcohol use.  Often, I just reacted instead of thinking something through.  I had been so immersed in thinking about alcohol, for example; when I would drink, with whom, etc. that most of my thoughts were measured against an alcohol yardstick.  Drama, negativity and pain quickly became a lifestyle.
        WFS and Statement #5, (which Jean hailed as the “crux of the Program”) provide the anchor for living a new life without alcohol.  Choosing my thoughts was a new concept for me, one that began with the practice of simply being aware of my thinking.  Initially it felt frightening with so many thoughts flooding my mind that I wished for the quiet to return, but I wanted sobriety more than silencing my mind.
        Statement #5 takes daily practice.  Before sobriety I had crafted a deep, alcohol flood in my mind.  I needed to build a bridge over this great expanse to maintain sobriety and enrich my life.  Realizing that this would take time, I began to search my thoughts.  Each redirection of thought, each time I stopped myself from taking a drink, I added another plank over the raging flood waters.  Soon I had a sturdy structure forming a path in my New Life.  As for that old yardstick, well it makes for a great walking stick on an exciting journey.    Hugzzz, Karen

++++++++++++++++++
+  Member Insights  +
++++++++++++++++++
Hi 4C Women,
        I love this statement.  It takes a lot of hard work to change your thoughts about who you are if your self-esteem, self-worth is blocking you from self-love.  I disliked myself for such a long time, believed I was unlovable and not deserving of receiving love.
        Today I presented two brief presentations on WFS in our church services as I have been moderating a WFS group there for 10 years (March 5, 2007).  As I was explaining how we open our meetings, share a positive and end with the WFS motto, I recall a time when saying I was competent was beyond challenging and a positive that happened during the week – you’ve got to be kidding!  Now ask me for a few negatives and I’m on board.
        Reading the WFS Mission Statement and especially the WFS philosophy about releasing the past, once again helped me realize how WFS has changed my life.  When I think of how I identified myself, how negative I was and downright miserable, I shudder to think of what my life would be like today if not for sobriety through WFS.  It would not be a life.  I’m grateful that I have a New Life and can celebrate that rather than the other way around which would definitely not be a celebration.  I was almost going to cancel my presentation today because of extreme personal challenges and feeling down, yet I am glad I decided to follow through.  The service message was on hope and the pastor said that when we need hope, it’s important to reach out for it and when we have it back, it’s just as important to give it away to others.  That is what I have been receiving and I think that pretty soon I’ll be able to give back as much hope as I have been given.  The best part is that the meeting notice flier with the 13 Statements and contact info was inserted in 210 bulletins.  A few people thanked me on their way out and I’m “hoping” they will pass the info on to any woman who needs it.
        I’m attaching 5 questions that will be a guide in learning to build your self-esteem, to make each day count and focus on the lessons to be learned as you learn to love yourself.  --WFS Member 
* * * * *

Every morning, answer these 5 questions.  This is about moving forward in leading a full life, learning to love yourself, taking risks, being responsible for your choices and the willingness to learn life lessons.  This takes perseverance, a strong desire to live an authentic life, to speak with a fearless voice, live joyously, be resilient and to have a deep caring and awareness of who you are today without judgment. 

1.    Do it!  Make the day count!  What am I going to do today to make this day count? 

2.    What can I do today to love myself? 

3.    Today I dare myself to..... 

4.    Today I take full responsibility for.... 

5.    What I most need to learn today is...
_____________________________________________________________________
© Women for Sobriety, Inc. | PO Box 618, Quakertown PA 18951
Email: contact@womenforsobriety.org | Ph: 215-536-8026 | Fax: 215-538-9026
Join our Email Service by clicking HERE or text your email address to WFSORG at 22828.
Daily Inspirations on Twitter: @WFS4C | Check out the WFS Blog: http://wfsorg.blogspot.com
When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to Women for Sobriety.
PayPal Giving Fund: 100% of your donation reaches WFS and contributes to our mission.

DONATE NOW ~ Your Donations Help Support WFS’s Services. Thank you!